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Jokes

     That’s what is next in movies and exaggeration. Some moviemakers decided to make a movie about Iraq’s war and in the end it ended that George Bush is Saddam’s brother.

    Taxis are too expensive nowadays.  A very cheap guy went back from his work by the taxi. It was raining so suddenly the taxi started to slide and rotate in the middle of the street. The taxi driver shouted “we are going to die!” The man replied close the counting machine fast! (Which counts how much money he has to pay due to the amount the taxi travels?)

 

Life is work… What shall I do? All what I got is to wait another holiday… and you…
That is life… all what I have… that is work all my life…
That is work… it is my gift… but too my curse…
So what do you expect me to do… get happy because I am getting back to school…?

 

Death and Marriage: An Excellent Comparison

1. Death is the end of pain, but marriage is the beginning of pain.
2. Dying is a human right but marriage is a big lie.
3. After death the good people enjoy and bad people are tortured but in marriage the good and bad are horribly tortured.
4. After death you will be with Angels but after marriage you will be with…. ah…
5. After death you will grant that you will be questioned and will gain happiness as the good things you have done and sadness as the bad things you have done but after marriage you will be questioned and tortured for the two, (The good doing and bad doing)
6. When a man dies women are dressed in black for him but when a man marries his friends are dressed in black for him.
7. When a man marries he enters a different world but when he dies he gets freed from it.

Was on rightness who said “Walk in the funeral but not in the wedding procession”

 

 

In a night, I woke up early….
I yawned and stretched my arms
I pulled my blanket and sat on the bed
I heard a noise a noise a high noise
I stood up and went to see the voice
The voice came from the toilet so I went to it
I saw the toilet and in it was a lot of reed liquid
I turned around and saw a vampire so I went back to sleep
Again, I woke up but this time I heard a higher noise
I went to the kitchen where the noise came from and in it, I saw john Travolta
Eat quietly! I said. And looked at him and said ah… and went back to sleep
Next time I woke up, I found a thief in my room so I went to sleep with the neighbors.

      Some idiots were so sad because people make fun of the drunken people but not of them, therefore they went to the edge of a so high mountain and started to fish. People started to laugh and make jokes about them, but suddenly some drunken people were passing by. The moment the drunken people saw the idiots they took off their clothes and jumped off the edge of the mountain.

     Two drunken people where sitting with each other, one of them asked the other, “Where are you born,” his answer was, “In the hospital.”The other replied,” Why, Were you sick?”

     A very cheap man was eating an orange. When he opened the first one he saw it was rotten, when he opened the second one he saw it was rotten too.  Therefore he closed the light while eating the third one.

Two idiots were playing chess, therefore both of them lost.

 

Once there were three boys, their names were
1. shut up
2. Troubles
3. Manners

All the three of them played hide and seek. Troubles was the catcher, manners hid on the tree, and
Shut up hid behind the police station. A police asked shut up “What is your name?” he answered
“Shut up” the police stared sharply at him and shouted to him “Where is manners?” he answered
“On the tree” he asked, “Are you looking for troubles?” he answered, “Troubles are looking for me.”

Then the police took him and he spent thirty years in jail.

 

Once, someone cursed me so I had bad luck
I asked my son did you do that, he said no father and he swore to me
You are a liar! I answered and killed him
I asked my wife did you do that, she laughed and said you certainly are joking with me
Therefore, I killed her. I asked the driver did you do that, he said yes sir I am sorry
Therefore, I left him alive because he was honest.

 

 

I went to work and I was tired
My boss looked at me but I was still tired
He looked sharply at me while I had a dull expression
I took a deep breath and said ah…
I was tired I was tired
Do not these people know?
I am tired I am tired
I was sleepy cause I slept late I said
While the dull expression increased
Moreover, I said ah….
He shouted at me while I felt a chill run through my body
And dreamed of the warmness of bed
I am tired I am tired
I am tired I am tired
I answered
He told me come to my office
In addition, I said ah…
It was dull, dull and dull
I was tired, tired and tired
Do not these people understand?
So ah…. Is what I said
What is your problem? I said
Not knowing he is too tired
Do not you people know?
Yesterday, yesterday I slept late
I am tired I am tired I am tired I am tired
I said that and said ah….
He suddenly stood and said
Out! Out! He said and said ah…
I suddenly forted and said ah…
Then I suddenly recognized he ran fast asleep
Therefore, I joined him and we lived happily ever after.

 

Once I asked one of my students, “Can you name me an animal that flies?” All the students raised their hands and I chose one he told me an elephant is an animal, which flies. I told him that his answer is so stupid and sure, his father told him that answer so I asked him “where does your father work you idiot?’ He told me that his father is a lieutenant. I answered “Oh what a smart boy an elephant can fly but just if it gives it a try.”

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